Disclaimer: This story is work of a friend of mine,everything written here is fictional and any similarities with the reality is just coincidence.
1. The stairs of death
The bell rang anouncing the start of a next school period. He knew he couldn't afford to be late again so he rushed up the stairs to
the third floor of the building. At the last flight of wide red brick stairs he encountered what he feared the most -a group of
attractive highschool girls. They were a part of another class whose teacher was always the last one to arrive
so waiting for them to leave wasn't an option. All he had to do was walk past them like a normal human being but he was self
conscious about his robot-like walking pattern. It was a product of his mind because before he switched schools and before
he became a nervous wreck he used to walk normally. Almost every single one of them with exception of one were staring at him
fully expecting a "show" they could smirk at. The one who never looked at him was the tallest of the bunch, a slim raven haired
beauty who was told by a third party about his attraction towards her. He began ascending while making sure to avoid eye contact
and moving as fast as he could. But right as he was about to reach the top a blonde girl tripped him and called out his name. He
flinched as he always did whenever his name was called in that wretched building. Afterall people rarely talked to him apart from
wanting something or saying something negative. He woke up drenched in sweat and realized it was all a dream.
The sun was already high and outside his window he could see bales of hey on a nearby grass field. It was his 9th or 10th lonely
summer ever since he lost all his friends and became a recluse. He stood up and walked out of his room wearing nothing but
underwear and paused before the hallway mirror. By now he was in his mid 20's, slightly overweight and unkempt. He examined
his flabby belly carefully from the front and the side. If he had the will to do something he could get back in shape in a matter of
weeks just like he did in the past. But he felt like his looks did not matter enough to begin his old exercise regime. Afterall he
rarely left his parents estate and he has given up on attracting women. Instead of having breakfast he decided to boil a large
quantity of Turkish coffee which he would then drink throughout the day. About 6-10 cups worth depending on how tired and
depressed he felt. While sipping his first cup he checked out his favorite gore websites. There he found an image of a rather
attractive dead woman with her exposed breasts. He jerked off to the thought of finding her moments before death and raping her
as she bled to death on the floor. Relieved he attempted to do something productive and continue learning a useful skill. But just
15 minutes in his attention wandered off elsewhere and he wasted a few hours playing mmorpg, reading and watching videos.
Seeing as it was already 3 pm he decided to go outside and walk a bit to clear his mind. After that he once again attempted to do
something productive but kept postponing it until it was already midnight and the day was over. He went to bed late after
midnight with hopes that the next day will be different but knowing that it most likely won't be.
3. Among the normals
Living in the countryside has allowed him to not see people or be seen by them while leaving the house. His nearest neighbour was
an old woman who lived on a hill 100 meters away and hikers were a rare sight in the area. This living arrangement pleased him
even though he would often feel lonely and cut off from the rest of the world. It's not like being surrounded by people made him
feel any better. In his mind he compared being out in public to walking past restaurants while being starving and broke. The sight
of young tight female bodies would just awaken the desires inside him which he could never fulfill. When he was a younger man
he repeated that mistake several times when he allowed himself to be dragged with parents to the seaside. There he would see
dozens of fit bodied girls wearing swimwear and other revealing outfits. Most of them had boyfriends his age and they were
probably all non virgins. Sometimes he would see them get groped by their boyfriends in broad daylight and he even ran into a
couple that was having sex in the secluded part of the beach. The only way he could see himself experience similar things was by
forcing himself on the girls which was something he wouldn't agree with at the time. Afterall despite being socially outcasted his
behaviour was still very "moralfaggotesque" and he believed that he deserved his fate.
Now he was forced with a task of running an errand in the city which despite being better than a beach was a bad place for a hiki
virgin to be during summer. He took a bus from his village during the hours where he expected the least amount of people and
planned to return home before people would start returning home from their jobs. Unfortunately the place was located in the old
part of the town that was full of tourists and he was forced to endure walking past dozens of caffe's and restaurants which were
buzzing with people. Among them he recognized a female acquaintance who used to date his only friend but at the time was
probably single. She waved at him and greeted him with a smile like he was an old friend of hers despite the fact that they barely
talked even when he used to hang out with her boyfriend. He was forced to stop and engage in small talk with someone who he
didn't care for when she suddenly began asking personal questions about his life. That irritated him both because he was ashamed of
his current situation and because he didn't feel like opening up to a person who didn't really care about his problems. She would
probably just give him some shitty feel good advice anyways which would only make her feel good. Instead of telling her that
he was unemployed he lied about making a small amount of money from making game assets which was his dream that never
took off. He pretended to be in a hurry and left to avoid further questions, finished his errand and bought a bottle of the cheapest
vodka before returning home and getting drunk. The encounter has made him nervous and alcohol was his way of coping in such
situations.
4. No fun allowed
It's over he thought to himself and it really was. An entire 24 episode first season of a new anime has been consumed
by him in just 2 hours. What should have been 8 hours of fun ended up being a quarter of that and no fun at all. Just another copy of a copy
selling lonely men another dream of rebirth and harem. He used to dream about being reborn himself and made up similar scenarios in his head
in his early teens. For a while he also liked to imagine himself as a certain anime character because he had a female admirer which exibited all
the qualities he sought in a girl. Shyness, empathy, loyality, uncoditional love. He knew now that no woman could ever be that way with him nor
could any woman be capable of uncoditional love anyways. Bottom line is that once he consumed so much media everything became too
reptetative and nothing felt new. Moreover he could no longer hide from the fact that he was wasting his life away and rapidly aging. Something
else changed which made online games unplayable. It was the immense change in youth culture. Every zoomer spoke in some shitty ebonic slang
which pissed him off and things which used to be okay to talk about became a taboo. He used to play a certain mmo hosted on a private server
where he could just say anything he wanted in world chat and not face any consequences. But that too changed with the death of the main team
member and introduction of new gm's. After he was temporarly muted for the 4 th time he rage quit and never returned to it again. The internet
which used to be a place where he felt at home became a thing which only made him feel more alienated.
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